fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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