Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
