so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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