census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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