i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
