In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
