Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
