i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Are we still banned from the library?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
