Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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