the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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