I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
