Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
