You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
