Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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