I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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