I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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