But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
