Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
