Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
