Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
