I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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