youre lurking in front of me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
