Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
