Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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