This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
