i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
a search helicopter?!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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