I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
whose parrot is this?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
