You're so nebulous sometimes
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
