Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
