Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
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My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
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For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
why is half of my head shaved?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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