butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
