i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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