I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
