You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
