Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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