I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think i got beer on your cat.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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