all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
