I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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