I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
