They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize