your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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