you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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