Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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