Non-Jews are for practice
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
why do cheetos always look like penises
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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