with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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