Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
