So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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