Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
