summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
