I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
