I have demons in me.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
