well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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