I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
