You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
