he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
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KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
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Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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