I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
