We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
