In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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