So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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