dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize