Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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