The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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