Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think I just sharted jello shots
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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