we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
